Apparently, the folks at Chicago didn’t get the memo from Melrose Place that Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is a terrible actress. In December, she will be playing Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago for six weeks. According to People, Ashlee “played the role in the London run of the musical. It would, however, be her Broadway debut.”

Ashlee lucked out with marrying Pete Wentz. His ability to simultaneously play the roles of both mother and douchebag enables Ashlee to focus on the illusion that she is an actress. I predict three weeks from December, Jessica will be tweeting on how lame the Chicago script is and thanking the good Lord that Ashlee brought them press. And when my prediction comes true, you owe me your penis. Those are the terms. Take it or leave it.